Welcome to part 2 of the I Don't Even Awards! (IDEAs) Today we're handing out golden Thumbs up bro-fists to the scenes of the movies we so love to hate. The movies we I Don't Even are full of scenes I can still remember today, no matter how much I try not to. So today be prepared to relive some great and terrible memories. The IDEAs will be spread out over this week in several parts, so be ready for more awards.
Entries in Twilight (2)
It's Monday. I'm waiting for the dining hall to open because I'm starving. I have a bajillion tabs open in FireFox for various studying and procrastination purposes. The last of my seven tabs open is a website called My Life is Twilight.
No, I am not joking. It's nigh impossible to joke about Twilight.
Comparable to sites like F My Life and My Life is Average, MLIT is a place where you can share how much your life compares to your favorite book made movie series, whether you just realized there are boys in your class named Edward and Jacob that sit with each other, or how your boyfriend whispers sweet nothings into your ear while he calls you Bella. Perfectly acceptable.
But seriously, any decent Twihard will become instantly enamored with this tribute to the simple lives we all lead that can only hope to be as ethereal and perfect as the Cullens in such brief and ever escaping moments. Wondering exactly what you're getting into? Fear not, for I have extracted some choices samples from the site for your viewing pleasure.Upon entrance to the grey and dismal looking site, you'll find a list of categories under which you can read various entries of how, as the site says, My Life is Twilight. Your choices are Friends, Love, My Life, Random, School, and Work, but that does not limit the diversity of entries to be found! The site specifically says in it's submission disclaimer that, "There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself."
And what right do they have to limit your Twilight related experiences? This is the Internet, the only realm in existence where true freedom is both allowed and tolerated.
I now present to you the Top Ten My Life is Twilight Stories:
Today I was walking home from campus and my bag was packed full of big books. It felt like there was a stone wall pressing against my back. I thought, "Hmmm, this must be what a hug from Edward feels like." MLIT.
Today, I put a bumper sticker on my dad's fast expensive sports car that says: "Warning: I drive like a Cullen". He was not amused. MLIT.
Today was my 19th Birthday and I realize I'm quickly heading toward old age. As my friends and family sang happy birthday to me, I started to tear up knowing that my chance to be young and beautiful forever is rapidly slipping away. I wish Edward would grant me the gift of unlife. MLIT
Today, my mom asked me why I don't have a boyfriend, I told her it is because no one compares to Edward. MLIT.
Today I finally realized that all week my teacher was using the same color of chalk as the 'New Moon' title. I thought about it all day, and checked each of my classes chalkboards. I now offcially love my 1st hour teacher. MLIT!
While going to see the New Moon, I was disappointed when the audience wouldn't shut up when both Taylor Lautner and Rob Pattinson appeared on screen. When Dakota appeared on screen somone in the front row shouted 'TEAM DAKOTA!'. This person is my new hero. MLIT.
today i finally convinced my boyfriend to let me give him a makeover. when we were done he had white makeup red lips and sparkles all over him. i am single now MLIT
Today during my math class a girl walked past me wearing a sickly sweet vanilla perfume. I turned up my nose and automatically thought to myself, "This must be what the Cullens smell like to the werewolves." MLIT.
Today, when I went to work, my boss called me in her office. She then proceeded to close the door and ask why I had glitter all over my face. Turns out my wife was nicer to me this morning because I "look more like Edward." She and my daughter did this while I slept. They both love Twilight. MLIT.
This year, a boy named Adam moved into our dorm. He look s very similar to Edward Cullen and my roommate and I always either saw him inside, or out on cloudy days, which made us start to wonder. On a sunny day sometime later, I saw Adam walking to class. I was disappointed he didn't sparkle. MLIT
I will admit the last one on the list is an entry I sent them, and I can only hope to be included among the Edward lovers and Mary Sues wishing they were Mary Sues. I will keep you up to date as my life progressed to be a more perfect and vampiric life of solitude and completeness knowing that I'm gonna live forever. I only wish I can find someone as perfect and beautiful as Edward to make my life complete and fulfilling.